In one of your Instagram posts last year, you mentioned that "Our daily battles are just a blip in the universe."
How do you find the strength to manage every day's responsibilities in the overall scheme of life?
I use the 10-10-10 method. Will this matter in 10 minutes, 10 months or 10 years?
Re-framing has been a powerful tool when dealing with so much. You can either look at moments of friction or turmoil as times of chaos or opportunities for growth. The past few years of navigating a divorce, raising 3 children and pushing my career to the next level have been a big opportunity for me to become more self aware. It allows me to set clear boundaries for what I want and need out of life.
I believe that people should be living life on their terms - without the guilt that culture sometimes associates with those terms.
You shared an eye-opening quote from James Silves, "Anxiety and depression don't come from this moments.They come from the past and the future."
How does this quote resonates with you?
You can be anxious about what could happen and you can be depressed about what did happen but the only real moment is the current one you have. Don't get me wrong, there is a time and place for mourning the loss of a relationship, career, etc. but I try to spend the majority of my time on the most productive thought cycles.
I love the saying "if you go on a hike and spend all your energy worried about a bear that could be in the woods, then when an actual bear crosses your path, you'll be too exhausted to run."
I try to save my energy for the bears in life.
Why do you think that in this one world, there is so much disparity between classes of people (i.e. wealthy, middle-class, people below the poverty line.) and can you share some concrete ways to address this based from your own perspective?
I grew up in Central Illinois in a town of 800 people. Neither of my parents went to college and my dad is a plumber. I was a tech founder back in 2012-2014 and realized how little "connections" I had. Part of navigating NYC taught me that connections breed more connections. Those connections open doors.
It is imperative for wealthy and fortunate individuals to recognize their privilege and go out of their way to help others. Even now, I set aside 90 mins every week for 15 min "how can I help you?" sessions. People can ping me for my Calendly link and I hear about their startups, marketing ideas, etc. It's the little I can do right now but as my influencer and career grows, I will be very aware of the continued need to reach out and help others.
What has been the hardest experience in your journey through life? How did you manage to keep taking a step forward even in moments wherein you have taken some steps backwards?
Navigating a divorce with 3 kids under the age of 5 and a company that just got acquired was a really difficult time. There were days where I had to go from a court room to a board room or a deposition to full glam gala for work. At first I used to feel "fake" for being able to put on a smile and get through whatever was in front of me but someone later told me it was a testament to my strength.
I also took CBD, worked out and was going to therapy 2x a week to allow myself time to process & emote.
If you died tomorrow, what would you wish you had done?
Big question. I actually feel like I'm living my truth right now. I am putting myself first for the first time in my entire life and there is such a freedom in that. I am excited to build again and know that if I don't follow the voice inside of me and fire that is building, then I would regret it.
Can you pinpoint the moment in your life where you were the happiest?
I honestly find happiness in small things everyday. Whether it's playing with my kids and realizing they are turning out okay or watching my team nail a campaign or hanging with friends.
I realize now more than ever that life isn't about major milestone "check the box" moments that I was so focused on when I was younger. So many times did I find myself saying "I will be able to be happy when X happens".
After my world turned upside down, I realized how crippling that mentality had been. I am choosing to live life in the moment and find happiness in the now.
What has been the biggest change you ever made that made you the most proud of yourself?
Did I mention I got engaged at 19 and married at 21? Being on my own for the first time at 32 was terrifying but I have never been more proud of myself.
Can you share some of your biggest realizations being in a different country, specifically, India?
India was an incredible experience. I got to see the world of weddings through the lens of a country where 70% of the weddings are still arranged. Meeting with millennial women and understanding how they view marriage vs. how their parents view marriage was an incredible learning experience.
Whenever I travel, I'm reminded that happiness comes from people and community and experiences - not things.
If you could have the option of eradicating pain from your life would you choose to do so? Why or why not?
Physical? Yes. I've had 3 babies. I know pain.
Emotional? No. Anger and sadness are healthy emotions that signal to us that something isn't right. I've learned to not be afraid of these emotions anymore and allow space to examine them and learn from them.
What is the most romantic and loving gesture you have ever done for somebody?
To me loving someone is about understanding, seeing, and making them feel seen and understood.
Love is about choosing the same person every day and knowing that person is changing every day and wanting to know who they are every day.